This Sunday I am doing a workshop.
The teacher, Lily, is a good friend of mine and I signed up a while ago. I will get pasties for free when I go in. Pasties are the nipple tassels. You stick them on, then you bounce on the balls of your feet. The directions they spin in depends on where your arms are.
I am so looking forward to it. So very much.
Standing in a room with a load of topless women all bouncing will be one of the funniest experiences to date, I think.
I wonder what the other women will be like. Will they be crazed burlesquers, or people just doing it for a laugh? Somehow I hope it is the former. I don't know that many women who would feel comfortable doing it. When I have told people at work about it many are incredulous. "Why?" they ask. "Won't you be embarrassed?"
I don't think I will, to be honest.
I hope there isn't a mirror, though, like you get in gyms. I'm not sure I could cope with staring at my bouncing self for a whole hour and a half.
Then after that I have signed up for the fan dancing workshop, to learn how to dance with fans, I assume. This I am looking forward to, but not as much as sticking tassels on my nipples and making them twirl.
There will not, repeat not, be pictures.
I have a few queries.
What am I supposed to wear on the bottom half? Frilly knickers? Jeans? A tutu? I assume something I feel comfortable in, but I also want it to be something I feel nice in. Maybe a piece of diaphanous material fashioned around my hips in a wrap-like style?
Also, will the room be warm? If I'm taking my top and bra off I don't want to be all cold and shivery. However neither do I wish to be too hot. I hope they get the temperature spot on.
I know Lily very well, and she is wonderful and lovely. I am not anticipating feeling shy or nervous. I am excited.
I really, really hope I don't get resonated at some point and see fit to stage some kind of demonstration. "No affection for me? Watch this, young man, and affection will be the last thing on your mind."
Oh dear. Watch out, Clapham.